some things just never go away don't they?
[:music:] sway - bic runga[:mood :] just so annoyed
updates...i fixed the picture above as you can see...hehe kind of personalized it and stuff..well..i'm on to chapter two of purpose driven life and it's kind of making sense so far. it's all good. thing is, i hope i could keep it all in my head.
anyways, been awefully annoyed just now. i'm trying very hard not to be annoyed at anyone for that matter but no...they just won't fecking go away. how freakin' sad. i wanna rant and stuff but i'm trying hard not to coz it's part of the i'm-gonna-stop-being-bitchy thing i'm putting up with ever since i started reading the purpose driven life. uh huh. so much for self improvement huh? well the point why i am so annoyed is just one person. uh huh. she's s friend of mine who has been very...weird lately...she has this relationship with a guy which i don't get at all coz she hasn't explained it to me--gawd we don't even talk! which is why we can't freaking understand each other--at least i cannot understand her coz she's too busy ranting about things i don't understand! *am i slow or there's really something wrong with her?* then here she goes talking to some other friend of mine with whom i have the same friggin problem! i mean, one is enough, ya know. and it's so annoying coz you know what? i wanna understand them. i wanna understand her, i wanna understand him. but no. i can't. you know why? coz they never explained anything to me! it's lke they're leaving me in the dark for no apparent reason except that oh gawd we understand each other never mind val she doesn't get it anyways, besides, she doesn't give a damn. hello?!
maybe i'm just selfish for wanting to understand both of you. but you know what? it kind of hurts coz you're my friends and i wanna be there for you but you just keep on shutting everything away. well then fine if you want it that way. maybe i've been too selfish when someone broke my heart...maybe i wanted all the attention. but you know, right now i can say i'm moving on without your fucking help. and i don't care anymore if you don't notice that i'm here for you, trying to be strong even if i know one of these days i'd be falling apart again.
she was right. and i wouldn't be surprised if she's on your side. coz you're right. you always were. she was too. maybe i'm just selfish. maybe i'm just in too deep in myself. well sorry for being that way. forget i said anything. just do your thing and forget about me. just forget it.
4 Comments:
helloweee gurl! haaay... grabeh... mishuu na sobra! it's been [insert number of days] since huli tayong nagkita... well, i am looking forward to this new term at sana nga mas maging close pa tau.. what ever it is that brought us together - i am deeply grateful.
i've read your recent post... can't help but relate with it.
here are the lines that got me...
"well the point why i am so annoyed is just one person. uh huh. she's s friend of mine who has been very...weird lately...she has this relationship with a guy which i don't get at all coz she hasn't explained it to me--gawd we don't even talk! which is why we can't freaking understand each other--at least i cannot understand her ..."
---> maybe the reason why we don't understand them is that we haven't talked to them... coz i think that's the only way we could clear our heads out. but the hard part is the talking part... coz pride gets along the way. we have to deal with that. and the assuming thing. it definitely blurs out relationships. we'll never know unless we talk to them sincerely.
"...and it's so annoying coz you know what? i wanna understand them. i wanna understand her, i wanna understand him. but no. i can't. you know why? coz they never explained anything to me! it's lke they're leaving me in the dark for no apparent reason except that oh gawd we understand each other never mind val she doesn't get it anyways, besides, she doesn't give a damn. hello?!..."
---> we did talk about them shutting us out of their lives... or maybe it was just us... or me thinking about it.
"...maybe i'm just selfish for wanting to understand both of you. but you know what? it kind of hurts coz you're my friends and i wanna be there for you but you just keep on shutting everything away. well then fine if you want it that way. maybe i've been too selfish when someone broke my heart...maybe i wanted all the attention. but you know, right now i can say i'm moving on without your fucking help. and i don't care anymore if you don't notice that i'm here for you, trying to be strong even if i know one of these days i'd be falling apart again. "
---> sometimes... i wish that i can not care about this friend but heck. she's my bestfriend and a 'bestfriend' means a lot to me. it's a commitment. a strong bond. but what if the other one does not appreciate it... enter the neverending turmoil in my head.
haaaay... my drama on friends.... our YM conversation pretty much covered it all.
some things just never go away, indeed.
by the way... touched nmn me dun sa isa mong post.... actually... i've never imagined us to be this close... parang biglang click tau eh, lamo yun... but all i can say is there
are people who happen to be at the right place and at the right time. for us, it was the gokonghell lobby (where my hell week took place) during the hell week (trans. in bet
the mid term and end of term). and it was during the times i was feeling a little out of place... ya know... and then... there comes the people who makes your day, seemed really happy to see you and all. that definitely gave me a new disposition... a new spot in gokonghell... to simply put it... a new reason to exist and continue on living. and i just wanna say that i appreciate you guys, especially you, val. and thanks for making the previous term a memorable one. thank you for the sweet and caring friendship.
*hugs a little longer*
goodluck with your reading...
see ya around =3
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