time stands still
[:music:] keyboard[:mood :] empty and lost
time stads still
for a body lotion bottle
with its lid pried open
waiting for someone
to give it a squeeze
so that the white stuff
would come out.
then
smell it
the scent of lotion
so pink in the sense
that
it's girly.
i realize that
it's so me.
at the same time that
it isn't me.
coz i'm filled with sweet lies
so sweet like the scent of lotion.
white pink stuff.
white pink scent
sunblock-ish sometimes.
lotion. sunblock.
blocking the sun.
blocking the light
that used to bath me
with warmth.
but now
the sun doesn't touch me.
i've grown cold,
imprisoned, waiting
while time stands still
waiting
like the lotion bottle.
standing still.
waiting.
***
kinda bored. was supposed to apply lotion but went online and blogged instead. cried myself to sleep last night. thought that it was over. had to think again. coz it wasn't. thought i wanted to fall for someone new. just for the sake of losing this feeling. but thought again that it would end up the same. was thinking i felt this way last year. almost exactly in the same position. ended up with a bitter sweet thing. bitter. and sweet. this time more intense than before. keep asking myself was it a mistake. keep asking if this is my great fall. asking. always asking. always waiting.
tummy aches. stupid monthly bitch out to make my tummy hurt again. no one's online. feu won against ateneo. 65-51. got two hours left on the internet card. no one texting me. silence filling my ears. desolate. tears run dry. words echoing in my head. forgot that it was saturday night. telling myself everything will be alright. telling myself i can do this. having a little faith. being numb. being very numb.
logging out now.
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