God has his ways
[:music:] stole - kelly rowland[:mood :] good
i think i need to post this here too..it's kinda...i dunno..it goes with the white theme thing...*er?!?!* :p
i'm feeling as if history is repeating itself and i can't help but get caught in the tidal wave. feels good to feel better. yeah, these hellish mood swings are getting the better of me and i can't let that happen now. not when i still got a chance to make things better.
i talked to jane earlier *online!!* and we were talking about..the stuff i've been going through for the past few days. she says i've been thinking too much and it's just all mood swings that the people around me should not be taking too seriously *jane knows me so well...:p i miss her...i miss the way she knows what's going on in me when i haven't got a clue or when i'm lost*...she knows better than to be annoyed at me whenever i attempt to bitch out on her. funny coz we like..have the same astrological signs yet she understands me..usually two people of the same signs like...repel or something...instead jane compliments my being emotional and stuff. she compliments my walking on cloud nine coz she's one down to earth person who's got a sensible head on her shoulders. i love that girl. :) *wow what is this? testimonial time?* anyways, it's really fun to know that someone knows you so well despite the time and distance. it's so comforting to know that someone still knows you...coz...it's just so frustrating that the people who stick to you everyday don't see what's beyond that imperfection...it's just so sad that they can't dig any further just because of some stupid misconception. i mean, really...is it that easy to give up on someone? ok maybe i'm wrong to be comparing them to jane...coz jane is my bestfriend but still...these people i care about are the only ones i have when i'm about to break down into shit and i don't think they'd give a damn if i do. it's so frustrating at the same time it makes me appreciate the other people in my life more.
i can't help but think...does it really have to be this way? that there's this invisible glass ceiling that's keeping us from soaring to the sky? does it have to be this way? that there's a limit to the height that we can fly?
right now i'm just so thankful that i still have jane, krystle, sheena and sam with me. coz if it weren't for them, i'd probably have killed myself by now. they're the only constant things in my life right now and that's the only thing i'm holding on to. coz everything else is faltering. there isn't much hope, but i'm hanging on. coz krystle was right. when this hate turns into love, it'll be the greatest thing.
i'll be waiting. i'll be waiting for all this to turn back into God's love. i'm counting on that.
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hmmm....
it's just so frustrating that the people who stick to you everyday don't see what's beyond that imperfection...it's just so sad that they can't dig any further just because of some stupid misconception. i mean, really...is it that easy to give up on someone? ok maybe i'm wrong to be comparing them to jane...coz jane is my bestfriend but still...these people i care about are the only ones i have when i'm about to break down into shit and i don't think they'd give a damn if i do. it's so frustrating at the same time it makes me appreciate the other people in my life more.
>>> you looked too far and you saw right passed through us. the same people who you thought can't dig any further, still cares for you and have been trying really hard to get to you and see through your imperfections. whether or not you're looking for your bestfriend in us, we shared different experiences in different seasons. that's how we knew you. that's what we hold on to. and that's where our understanding of you is rooted. we still are, after all, getting to know each other... we may not be good enough for you. yet.
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