where did i go wrong?
Over My Head (Cable Car) - The FrayI never knew, I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run
when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathyI'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head, over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind, she's on your mindLet's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get alongBut that's disregard
Find another friend and you discardAs you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head, over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind, she's on your mindEveryone knows I'm in
Over my head, over my headWith eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind, she's on your mindAnd suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortlessWithout a sound we lose sight of the groundIn the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it downI won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves
And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head, over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind, she's on your mind___
i'm losing you and it's effortless.
would it matter now? would it matter to you?
fireflies. freedom.
~* music: blind - lifehouse
~* mood: sleepy
fireflies.seems so distant now those stars in your eyes
or were there stars that used to reside there?
these oceans now calm giggle at the breeze
that pass by its tiny waves carrying memories
of years i have held so close to me.
i smile back at the deep sky as it burns
lightly as the sun departs for the night
to hold me tight in its warm, windy embrace.
i love this, holding hands with the ones who
stayed amidst my errors, my ways, my flaws;
those who rescued and lit the way for me.
i look at them with so much love, with so much marvel.
i keep their memories in the light of the firefly
that appeared on the same night that changed my life.
the little firefly that tried to warn me of you.
the same firefly you hoped to catch with your hands.
i can't say i don't miss you.
though i can say that i'm stronger than you ever thought i was.
i'm stronger than you'll ever know i am.
the winds have changed and things are going my way.
each day is a blessing that i've kept inside brown pages,
black ink, yellow light and night music.
each day becomes a light i shine in the night.
each day becomes my peace, my heaven, my nirvana.
each day becomes each prayer i lift up.
because i never forget the good things.
because i haven't lost my faith.
because i believe enough to live another day.
nothingness.
i don't have to wait for you to leave.
i'm leaving you
because after tonight, there's no turning back.i can't do this anymore.
i just can't fucking do this anymore.
it's over okay?
don't tell me i'm stuck. don't tell me i'm not getting over it. because chances are, you're the one who's standing still.
i still remember all the lies you've told me.___
So let me on down
'Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know
It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait~ jojo - too little, too late
there's no trust, there's no faith.
THERE'S NOTHING.
my melody
~* music:~* mood:i woke up to ellen's text message saying
Yo! Magandang hapon! =)) u awake? U at home? U busy? =))
and i was like, what? oh. didn't have load so i had to text her through chikka and ym. :p hehe. she came over for lunch, and we hung out, talked, and played huntsville til around 5:30. it was fuuun!! we got to talk about
people. harhar. >:)
yeah so i'm excited for tomorrow's course card distribution! even though i know what my grades are already. kj kase profs ko e. haha joke. ANYWAYS. i'm waiting for kitel's phone call. *yeah while i'm online..great val* i haven't talked to her for a long time now and i kinda miss her already. oh and i got to talk to my s19 girlfriends last night, kitel, andrea and pearl. :) i miss them. :D
well today was major fun. can't wait for what tomorrow will bring! :D
[ edit @ 11:54 p.m. ] so i wasn't able to watch CSI cuz the tv's dead *major sucks* so i watched
the perfect man on dvd. it was cute. :D i like hilary duff. haha! teeny bopper amp. wala lang. i liked the movie. cute siya. next target ko,
the devil wears prada. yeah. major cool movie of the year. :D i hope i get to watch it on the big screen. :D
i just wanna say
that i'm really happy right now and...i dunno. i can't believe what just happened though it's a no brainer. yeah. :)
i'm happy. :) and i hope it stays that way til...the rest of my life? harhar. :p gnyt people.
doesn't even hurt anymore
~* music: looking in the eyes of love - the corrs
~* mood: cool
i bet you can't live under the light
under the lanterns of secrets we've burnt
in the honor of tears i've shed for you.
i bet you can't wait to get on that wave
that will take you so far, and drown you
probably before the sun sets.
i will keep no promises. i will hold no words.
i live as long as the sun shines
and the winds breathe.
you walk away, the rain disappearing
from the sky, the sun shines
and this rainbow tells me that
it's better off that way.
you don't have to act like
you're the hero in all this;
you don't have to tell me
i don't have to hear the words
the endless apologies
the empty words, your clouded eyes
they all tell me the same thing.
you were blind. and i was deaf
to hear them saying that my efforts
were all in vain.
this isn't about love anymore.
this isn't even about me.
this is about you.
and how you manage to lose it
whenever i try to give it back.
i have a life! --focus!
~* music: wishing - hale
~* mood: creative!
i'm really happy by the way that today turned out to be. today was a success in the sense that we were able to accomplish what we had to accomplish plus a little bit more. :) yeah. *i just kinda wished that other people would be as enthusiastic about it as i am..huhu*
anyways. i was windowshopping at shang this afternoon and i mentioned to erik that
this place (shangri la mall)
makes me wanna marrry a wafu rich guy and he replies,
this place makes me wanna BE a wafu rich guy. come to think of it, yeah. harhar.
i saw one of our...how would you call it? common crushes today. erik said he looked pathetic. wahaha! but he was cute. makes me remember one of the stupidest things i've ever done in my whole life. then makes me remember one of the most bangag *but UBERLY funny* things that mimah did in her whole life. =)) speaking of mimah, i miss her. then suddenly, she buzzed me. yeah. :D
so anyway, i was bitten by the inspiration bug so...here. :)
click on the preview to see the full scale image. :) i dedicate this to ms. sangil who inspired us all in her passion and love for the arts. naks! haha! thanks to rafi for the lovely brushes! I MISS MY ENGLTRI FRIENDS!!! :D
anyways. :) i'm really happy and thankful and inspired so i hope this lasts until the new term. :D yeah. i ♥ life.
until the sun dies
i sat out on the porch, a warm cup of coffee in my hands. i thought of last night. i thought of the fire that burned when i said those hateful words. i thought of how much--or how little you've left me with whenever i asked something of you.
i looked at the horizon, the dying light of the sun sending rays up to the clouds shrouded in the dark blue of the coming night. i missed you. i missed you so bad but apparently you did not feel the same way. sometimes i wish the sky would swallow me up. because sometimes i don't know who's the one to blame. i can't trust myself anymore. it's scary when it comes to that point. when i'm so lost in my rage that i don't see you anymore. it's like, there was a whole new universe placesd between us everytime you talk like that. everytime you'd hide away. everytime you shut me out of your world.
i've seen you walk away too many times. to the point that i'd never notice the door open and close anymore. i wish you hadn't. i wish you'd stop doing this because everytime you do, it becomes all crazy. it defies every word you said. every word you said suddenly becomes so empty and meaningless. that's the part when i start to cry because i realize that this is all a joke. that you never meant anything. ANYTHING. but then again it doesn't matter now because you're in that "gone" state again. you're in that state when you're like a million miles away from me, and you won't say a word, not a word about anything we've ever done. because you live inside secrets. you live inside whispered words and closed doors. i can't do that. i just can't do that anymore. because fire needs to breathe. the flames need the air to move them to their dance. i'm not like you. i'm not like the still waters that only ripple at the winds. i needed my freedom. and having you in my life just doesn't give me enough room to fly.
i keep wishing for that day when i'd see the real you. until then i'm trying. until then, i'm still the one to watch you walk away.
i didn't notice when tears fell. the sun was dying. and so was i.
typical
~* music: sabihin mo na - top suzara
~* mood: uber bored
i bummed around all day which is typical for a term break-slash-weekend day. :\ i finally finished reading that new book i bought,
i was a teenage fairy by francesca lia block. ima read
the five people you meet in heaven next. i borrowed it from val/
scorpionflare. oh and i watched tv this evening. TV!! matagal na akong hindi nagbabad sa tv. i was watching AXN earlier, and i was able to catch a few good shows like
dr. house and
numb3rs.
anyway. i so wanna graduate and get out of the here and now. it's starting to be so pathetic. :(
i'm just really sad right now. i miss my friends. i miss our laughter.
___
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken...
walking alone
i've tried time and again
to traverse this road on which i trespassed
your life, your love, your everything.
and everytime i'd walk on
you'd just walk ahead, look away,
leave, shut me out, go away.
you never waited, you never heard me
when i asked you to stay
when i asked you to leave the light on.
it hurts to know that we've been so close
but you were millions of miles away
while i dreamt on about us
and you broke those dreams.
now you're telling me i haven't moved an inch
when i'm on the other side of the road
how could you do this to me?
how could you even try?
how come you couldn't see that
i've made it this far and that i'm living my life
how come you couldn't see that
i was always the one to watch you walk away?___
i wanna fly away. i wanna fly away from now.
i wanted to fly but i've broken my wings.
