just another poem..you wouldn't give a damn anyways
::music:: leaving song - stephen speaks
::mood :: sad. :(
keep staring at the mirror
begging for change
desperately reaching out
for something real to hold on to
something i could feel
something like freedom
something that isn't too surreal.
i've traded in shadows for a little warmth
a few tears for the rain
and then i realize that it's all the same.
our lies become our truth now
and this i have to live by.
there's not much to hang on to
unless i depend on faded memories
that won't let me go.
why can't i just walk away?
when everything's pulling at me
all at the same time
i can't think
i can't feel anymore
coz it's always you that's there
whether or not i decide to try
even for a while, to let you go
and let you fly.
i've tried to forget you
i've tried to hate you
i've tried to deny you
and i've tried to be true
but hell why do i keep on coming back.
when i look at you straight in the eye
i see more than just you
i see something i've lost
i see something i thought
i've already forgotten.
i see the real you i loved,
and everything else i ever wanted.
no title as usual. hehe. post a comment tell me what you think..
[edit] excerpt from my other blog..para lang maging public..:) *prng yung isang blog ko di public*
wala lang. i'd just like to take time and appreciate Rika for all the support she has given me this whole term that has passed. it really means a lot for me coz..imagine...Rika and i..we weren't really that close until..just recently..i mean, i think she was the last one in our kada that i got really close with...i don't usually tell her stories and the like so there isn't really any solid basis for our friendshiop except probably our classes together. what i really like about her though is that i she didn't have to know everything for her to understand what i was feeling. and for me, that was just really like..wow. coz sometimes it's so hard to make people understand how you feel..so hard to explain yourself without being judged as the wrong person..Rika on the other hand...well..iba siya e. she could easily understand what i feel without me telling her and i think that is like the most awesome thing about her. rika simply rocks. and gawd i am so very very thankful for this term coz it gave me a chance to really know her...yung kalibugan niya and everything. wala lang. it's just feels so nice when people suddenly like appreciate you and support you no matter how wrong or right you are, no matter how many mistakes you've done. *sigh*
Rika, super thanks for everything. grabe. i must admit i was surprised..pero what's important is that anjan ka for me as well as i am for you. thank you so much. abot langit pasasalamat ko sayo. :)
***
same goes for Svet. you guys know by now na friends na kami and grabe..we so get along very well. another surprise for me. not that i expected us to like..cat fight or something. but this girl turned out to be soooo sweet and so friendly to the point akala mo plastic pala siya..hindi pala..astig nga e. pero she's super bait and super caring talaga *oo ang conyo ko* and i appreciate her a lot kase she'd like take time off her busy schedule just to call me on her cellphone pa! *yabang talaga ng mga nakaline! haha joke* pero di nga...astig di ba? parang for a nbew friend to call you up out of the blue just because namimiss ka niya..wala lang. it means a lot lang to me. :)
Svet, salamat sa lahat. grabe ka. astig. :) sana mas maging close pa tayo..ingat ka lage ayt? :) ya rawk, girl.
back from my memory
::music:: somewhere in the middle - dishwalla
::mood :: worried
you killed them, soft white birds
now i bury them in my backyard.
these things i'll never say
keep pushing their way out.
i'm imprisoning my words
but then they come out softly
i hate to say them
coz they don't make sense.
who am i anyway?
i'm just a sick lost girl.
who am i to you
i'm that fallen girl
falling to rise again
and i've come back from the dead
i'm not a ghost to haunt you
i'm not here to torment you
when you have always mistaken me
for a someone who cared too much.
i am not a ghost
i will not haunt you
i will not be your destruction.
i wanted to take it all away of i could
but the memory of the dead birds won't fly away.
coz you've sunk in too deep
when you won't hand me your pain
and you can't save yourself
and i can't save you.
way out of myself
::music:: from the heart - another level
::mood :: natabla ako...
as you can see, new layout again. finally got the comments and date thing going right. anyways, tomorrow's the maccoms exam..i do hope i do well. *sigh*
i was feeling kinda alright this afternoon after spending a great time with amiel, svet, ross, rika and myk. :)
right now though i'm feeling really weird. maybe it's the headache and the sleepiness. :)
anyways, myk is currently going ballistic online so i think i'll leave him be for a while. that dude needs help...seriously..nah i'm kidding...
blogspot kinda sucks...the codes aren't freaking working properly and it looks ugly. hay. so there. that's all for now. :)
boring
::music:: stigmatized by the calling
::mood :: sort of happy..
i'm tempted to change the friggin layout of this thing again..i'm looking for a new one coz i'm really hating the milo thing going on. and the banner that says he loves me he loves you not.
i'm just gonna dry my newly painted nails and i'm gonna get to this, ayt? :)
yeah i know this is a crappy post. :)
Resurgam: when words weigh too much
::music:: truly madly deeply by savage garden
::mood :: annoyed, sleepy, depressed
i talked to Jane earlier *happy birthday mah bessie* and...i dunno...i guess her words weighed too much for me. i felt like no matter whom i ask, it's all the same answers i get. that i made the wrong decisions and am continuing to make the wrong decisions. i just find it sad that no one even dared to recognize the fact that i'm exerting effort to change somehow and be a little more positive. but hell that won't bring me down. i don't wanna let them step all over me again. this time i got more faith that everything will be alright. if only they'd stop being so annoying and stop reminding me of things that are better off forgotten.
one day soon i'll be able to fly away. this is only the beginning. i will get there somehow. i'm walking away and leaving everything behind co i'm tired of waiting for something that will never come my way. one day soon it'll find me. but not now. i've got my life to straighten out first.
we both know i'm not over you...
so stop pretending.
sunshine finally settled in
::music:: summer sunshine by the corrs
::mood :: better than the last few days
yeah it's friday the 13th and so far i'm at extremeties. i dunno if i had a bad or great day. how weird. well to start off i headed to school forgetting to apply conditioner to my hair (yes big deal for me sorry). brought my laptop plus clothes...yeah i brought that much stuff. dang. flunked the anmath quiz i know..almost fell asleep on manacon class...after that was like sweet freedom..i went downstairs to meet the guys and the best thing that ever happened all week...amiel, svet, ross and i had lunch at tropical hut. ang saya. as in. kahit apat lang kami astig yung kulitan namin. si amiel malibog as usual..and the weird thing there is that i noticed something about ross....grabe mas malibog na siya ngayon kaysa dati!! wahahaha!! swear!! maybe epekto ni amiel...saka ni myk..it's like sumasabog kase pag amiel + myk + ross e...oh well iba na talaga pag..er....yun...
hay anyways, i did my screwed up mp which by the way does not friggin work...haha yeah. submitted it though. even weirder. :) there. after that i hung out in the lobby *hm napapadalas na ko dun a* with rika, joyce, gino, ellen, cholo, svet, amiel and myk...yeah. tapos defense namin ng 5 pm...astig sobra kase tinulugan kami ni sir!! as in nagrereport kami ng mejo ang haba nga nya sabay si sir antok na antok na..ayun pagtapos namin wala na shang nahirit na tanong! astig da va... :) ayun..after nun bumaba ako..dapat manonood kami ni ellen ng groove e hindi ako pinayagan. ayun. so naghang muna ako sandali sa lobby kasama nila svet, myk at rika...nagkulitan...tapos yun...sabay sabay kami lumabas..tapos uwi. :) saya. promise and saya ng araw na to. kakaiba. parang..weird na ewan pero masaya. haven't felt this way for a long time now. :) anyways, there. that's all for now. i'm posting something else on my dj so..see yah!
::music:: Broken by Seether and Amy Lee
::mood :: *refer to the song*
i'm doing my final mp right now and i'm kinda looking for ward to the next few days...specially on saturday..rotc graduation!!! and i'm sure gonna miss those girls..sigh..funny how the term's coming to an emd and i realize how much everything has changed yet again..how sad. it was all so simple then...now we're all tangled up in this weird *endless* mess that i can't seem to get out of. oh well...people are saying that i am paranoid...well i think i am. i've been finding it very hard to trust people nowadays, it's weird. i feel like people are either if not mocking me behind my back, they're hating me and stuff...yeah i am paranoid, ain't i? oh well. things have been too rough, that's all. i can't wait for a new term to start. either that or a long break which will be like, far from now. as far as i know i won't be having any summer coz i'm attending summer classes for fili/jpriz and anmath2...shiyet..sucks...well there. and i've been doing a lot of thinking lately..er..i always do but the hell..yeah so i've been thinking of post college plans..and plans for the now. i'm gonna start writing again one of these days. i feel like grabbing a pen and writing random stuff..if not a pen then a computer..hehe..there. this afternoon i made a new wallpaper which you can view
here. it's got a poem in it..random stuff, really. something i suddenly got the urge to write after a while..
anyways, i better get back to my mp..i've got to update my other fallen blog..wah..updated all three blogs today..cool... :) ciao!
i lurve mah dj
::music:: harder to breathe - maroon 5
::mood :: very proud of myself
i renovated my dj!! yeah it rawks! i lurve the damn thang...yeah well it's all good..that lifted my mood somehow...cool. well i guess that's it for now. i'll see you soon. :)
keep on rawkin'!!
dry ice
::music:: crazy in love by beyonce
::mood :: very very very cold..
wow cool that song reminds me of two things. first is Kakach and the second is Rika's debut. talk about nice warm fuzzy memories. :)
moving on, today was alright...woke up at around eight..real early..couldn't get back to sleep coz the carpenter was around doing lotsa stuff and it was noisy. he hung the two new chandeliers (i feel like vomiting saying that), one in the dining room and the other in the living room. so there. went online to renovate this blog then slept again til one..ate lunch then prepared for the church thing...went there and found that kuya Ben wasn't around..nor was the annoying kid i disliked. nyaha. but the other girl wasn't there too, my favorite among them. well anyways, i got to chat with this really talkative girl who didn't mention her name whatsoever but she was cool. she kept ranting on and on about her pets, her 20 year old sister who had two kids *i was like wtf* and lots of other things. gawd i was so distracted with the kids i didn't listen to the mass. oh well. like i'd really listen..ehehe. well anways, after that i came home, took a shower and now i am online. how nice. :) i wasn't able to update yesterday coz i ran out of internet cards. dang. :)
anyway, yesterday rawked. we went shipboarding on ROTC...we went up the Philippine Flagship, Rajah Humabon something something i can't remember what the hell the name was really..anyways, yeah it was cool...me and my rotc friends had a lot of fun picking on Aida (who by the way knows Eunice) coz she had this big crush on the captain i forgot his first name..his last name was Tamayo. yeah that guy. he was pretty cute. hehe. anyways, we really had a fun time on the bus...Gem and Soc were crazy as ever...hm..i'm really gonna miss those guys..Di who was the totally academically inclined one among us *she even brought a chem book so she could study!! gawd!*, Jessica who's quiet but cool, Jem and Soc, the wild pair who never failed to amuse us and make us laugh with the crazy jokes *yeah Jem was picking on the officer who was with us..hehe..oh yeah i think she's JB's girlfriend..ain't sure though..*, Pet who's like the quietest among us, and Patricia..whom i forgot what the hell is her nickname..er..she's from Zobel and she knows Pearl. yeah. there. cool. i am so gonna miss those girls!!! really..i'm glad we all got together for the shipboarding...when we were making our way back to the bus the rain suddenly poured and we just got wet to the bone! then there's the aircon bus which froze us to death. haha great. now i think i'm up to a fever again. well i hope not. anyways, walking in the rain was fun. Jem grabbed a bottle of mineral water and spalshed some on Aida who got all her clothes really wet by the time we got to the bus. :) it was all good though.
when i got to gokongwei i dressed into more decent clothes and ran into Pearl and Kris who were looking happy as ever *haha giddy me* and Myk came too but i didn't stay long since i was to meet Krystle who was hanging around Yuchengco. we met up there and rode a tricycle to Harrison Plaza, the crappy mall i grew up going to..haha! yeah and we finally got to buy the Hoobastank tickets...yippee for that. anyways, yeah then we ate at the tabi tabi food inside the mall...quial eggs and hotdogs, gulaman, shawarma and the like. after a snack of quail eggs we went to Tokyo Tokyo and ate tonkatsu, mah favorite!!! yeah so i spent like a thousand bucks all in two hours...how nice. now i'm broke again and i have to buy like a business attire for the manacon defense! dammit..where the hell am i gonna get the money? wah!! well anyway, that was all...
what was weird yesterday was that when we went to National Bookstore..Krystle was checking out some Filipino literary books and the only book i picked up was one with the title No Boyfriend Since Birth or something like that *in bold red letters*...i turned the book over and read the preview..it was about this girl who was pretty, smart and successful..but never had a boyfriend
since birth as so goes the title.
then the story goes liek she hunts for some potential boyfriends..listed there are a bunch of names..and like the third one was Mike with a brief description of
don't even think about him..Krystle just laughed at the whole thing while i was wtf..yeah how nice. what even made it nicer was when we stepped out of the mall there was this taxi waiting in front of us with the name MYK transport..i was like wtf..like what is this, one fourth of the people in the world was named either Mike or John or Pedro or whatever? weird. just plain weird.
well anyways, it's all good...tonight i'm gonna study for my manacon dept exam tomorrow..then i'm gonna do my mp..the recursion thing. dammit. stupid files thing is due on thursday. and there's the dept exam on thursday too..wah! hell weeks aren't over..dang. two more weeks and i'm off. wah...i need to survive this. i desperately need to.
i'm downloading a binch of songs to update my pathetic music collection..tsk how fucking sad. hey i have this resolution not to rant about a certain someone on this blog. it looks too wholesome to be ranted on. :) oh well i have my other blog for my rants...:) my dj is still as rotten as always. waiting for someone to change the layout for me *ahem sheena*. but then we're all busy so it can friggin wait. oh yeah about the
he loves me. she loves you not. thingy on the picture above, this layout was not made my me. it's just a skin i downloaded from blogskins.com and er..sorry i forgot who made this one...but as far as i know she/he's got some really great skins...well anyways, that's it..i'm gonna have dinner for a while. i'm still logged on though. i'm downloading a bunch of songs. wehehe. oh yeah and it was Antet who made fun of the he loves me he loves you not thing. fyi, it's a song by Dream, one of my favorite girl bands. :)
see ya soon..
sunday morning hell
::music:: broken - amy lee
::mood :: terribly bored, hungry, sad..and..
feeling like a bunch of ellipses again
i have just finished renovating the look of this blog..for the nth time..i just can't seem to find the right skin for it..well anyway, i hope this would do for now. i'm really starting to feel sleepy again so i'm gonna log out in a while. yesterday was a long day. i'll be updating about that later.
there's nothing much to look forward to anytime soon..so..don't expect anything too amazing in here. the contents of the table on this blog ain't done yet..still thinking of stuff to place in here..pics, maybe? dunno..anyways, i'll see you later.
[edit] erm..my blog looks like...MILO ENERGY DRINK DAMMIT!!!
new layout. again.
thanks to blogskins.com for this..hehe.
anyways today was a total bore. i wasn't able to go to rp so maybe i'll do that on...monday. our dept exam would be class time so it's all good. i'm really really really sleepy now so i gotta go. will see you soon. :)
hey and by the way, the layout isn't done yet. will finish this off tomorrow. :) good night..
dunno what to say.
first off, today was terrible. i don't wanna elaborate.
secondly i'm very much overwhelmed by the responses i've been getting. thanks so much to those who posted. now at least i've come to a sort of conclusion about it...yeah and you know what it is..sad no? la lng..
when i got into the bus tonight on my way home the tv was on Te Amo, Maging Sino ka Man, some pinoy telenovela and the scene was that Colette (the female antagonist) was holding a gun at Rosela (leading lady) and was attempting to kill her coz hse was madly in love with Fernando (lead guy) who was Rosela's true love and the one she as supposed to marry. just whe she was about to pull the trigger (with her raging and ranting about how much Rosela was like the thing that kept her from being with Fernando), the guy shows up and saves the day. then he says something like "Colette you gotta listen, i know i've caused you so much pain and trouble but i want you to move on now...i love Rosela and nothing's gonna change that. if you're gonna hurt her you gotta go through me first.." and i was like..er...i wanted to kick the tv if only i wasn't too tired and wasn't on a public utility bus. anyways, the scene got stuck in my mind and well..yeah i was toying with the idea of going to extremes, you know, going out there with a gun and shooting someone. no really. but hey i won't do that, promise. i've always been the laid back person (naks!). i would never go out hunting for some girl just because she's the one he loves. i'm not that crazy yet. i may hate her like a lot but i won't go bonkers and shoot her or anything. i'm not like that. :)
anyways, yeah it sucks how these telenovelas could actually tell the story oif your life. the only difference is that there's no happy ending. yep yep yep. the damned happy endings are just illusions that make us feel better for the protagonist. how pathetic the way these things work. damn.
*goes to the kitchen and gets herself something to eat*
yeah i'm doing this while eating and chatting with amiel..really cool dude...friend of myk and ross..st guy...really cool..swear.. :)
*goes off somewhere for a while*
so there. :sigh: i'm sleepy now. amiel and myk's past love lives are like drunk swirling in my head now..that's what you get for talking to two *brokenhearted* guys at the same time...er...wah!! i'm sleepy..
it's suddenly so clear, like there's this big big sign in front of me. like light from a passageway..but then it hurts my eyes. like i wanna reject the light..the warnth..the freedom it could offer. coz i still love you and i'll have to let it go. kahit masakit.
i'm seriously thinking of tranferring schools. if not schools then colleges. i'm serious. i know it's stupid to let go of the most prestigious school just because of someone but..i dunno. i feel like i just wanna get away. i'm seeing my former school as a home that i cold just run to and sek shlter from all this rain..but i can't coz i gotta stick to this.
ayoko na. pagod na ko. at wala na ring saysay kung ipaglalaban pa kita.
here's a little something buggin my mind...
do i fight for the one i love, risk everything and look stupid or just let him go and let my love die along with the rest of me?
it's been on my mind since last night so i hope you people have something to say about this...here's a few i got from people who cared enough to gimme their opinions...
"you weigh it... is it worth it?? if it is... fight..if in the end you can't do anything about it.. proclaim what you must say, so that you will not regret never trying.. tell him whatever you feel inside, and you'll win no matter what.."
~kent
"i think yes, so at least you won't regret at the end even though you don't receive what you want, coz you know you really have tried. but it has limitations, my advice is to give yourself and himself a time limit, and don't give up within the time. but after all, if not success, i suggest you to let it go... so, you won't loose the chance and time to meet your next charming prince"
~cynthia
"it's a tough decision..."
~kris
"if he loves you and there's one thing that hinders you from loving each other, then you should. but if he doesn't love you and he's just pretending then you're just gonna look stupid for doing so." ~
andrea
"if he's deserving then why not..."
~noelle
"if she loves someone else, i'd let her go. if not, i'd fight for it, specially if there's a potential that she'd like me..."
~cholo **
"let him go. if that makes him happy. if he comes back, he's yours."
~samantha
"i'll be there for her no matter what. but if it's hopeless, i'm gonna stop. it really depends on the situation..."
~antet
i'm still waiting for your responses. feel free to post them. :)
fucked up day
enrollment + maccoms + ross bitching out on me + unfinished assignment + people who don't care + people na saksakan ng labo =
one really screwed up tiring day.
hay. so this is the effect of too much stress due to college life. the thing is i can't give up now coz...there's a dept exam and a busines case to be submitted tomorrow. talk about hell week. gawsh.
then there's ross who bitched out on me this afternoon. you know what, i did a fucking favor for you and what do you do? bitch out on me. wala man lang thank you kahit man lang sa effort. alam mo, i never thought you'd be this irrational. really. i know hectic for you but hey take a fucking look around you are not alone. i just wish you'd stop closing in on yourself and bitch out on other people coz it sucks. i know you're pissed at me...well sorry i'm only human and newsflash: i do make mistakes. probably you're even annoyed at the fact that pearl sided with me well i'm glad coz you know what, this time you're wrong. this time you crossed the fucking line. i am sick and tired with being patient with your bitchyness. i'm sorry i'm not as intelligent as you are and not as great a programer as you are but hey..i'm only human. i hope you'd stop being so insensitive to other people's feelings when you claim that you care too much. ross hindi lang ikaw yung pagod. hindi lang ikaw yung nasestress out dito. sana marealize mo yun. and unlike you, mas madali kaming maggive up kase we aren't as strong as you are. i see a lot of determination in you na we don't have..so sana wag mo kami ibring down sa mga okray mo kase it hurts. it fucking hurts. if you're sensitive enough then sana wag ka ganyan. if you truly care then you wouldn't hurt us with your okray words. pero hinde e. everyone says na masanay ka na dun. and it sucks coz parang everyone accepts the fact na ganyan ka talaga..like wala ka nang hope magbago. tangina i hate it kase hindi nila alam kung ganu kasakit yung mga salita mo minsan.
i'm tired. we all are. pero sana wag na natin dagdagan yung tension by being bitchy to each other. all i want is to see you guys okay..ayoko na ng away. kayo na nga lang yung kaligayahan ko e, tapos ganito pa..ang lungkot.
ayun. wala lang. thoughts lang...
shifting paradigms
ok fine. sana maisip mo na tuwing nasasaktan ka, nasaksaktan din ako.
shiyet. how blunt of me.
dude who cares..this is what you get when you've got a really sleepy head on my shoulders..
oo mahal kita at oo tangina miss na kita.
when life finds a way to get back at you
i've been through day one of pakshet week and i'm feeling slightly optimistic about it...slightly. well...right now i'm yming cynthia and ajong who both have problems regarding their...er...guy friends...yeah...a while ago i was talking to stellar and rika...both of which thought life was shit so..there. gawd. why's everyone so down? shiyet sana ako hindi...i don't wanna feel down on pakshet week! no!! i read chapter six of our maccoms book and i kinda got the worksheet process thingy. kewl. there.. :sigh:
i wanna rant about ross coz we got into each other's nerves again this afternoon...i dunno is it me or have people changed? i mean, everyone's so bitchy nowadays...yeah even me. weird. and then there's the fact that i'm now 18 years old. sounds so...great..but hey...as someone said..er i forgot..pearl i think said that..it entails a lot of responsibilities. hell. i feel so old and i feel like i wanna be seventeen again. i wanna feel in between in the sense that i could be silly and mature at the same time...see i can't do that now coz i'm 18. gawd. it just sucks the way people look at me like omg she's 18 now and she's all grown up when deep inside there's so many kid stuff i missed out in life that i wanna do...i still wanna sit on swings and slide down slides and play jackstones and have this big crush on a rock star or teacher or classmate...i wanna be the young me again...i wanna fall in love and believe that love is a good thing and that you need not get hurt just to love someone.
yeah so i'm mushy fuck those who can't respect what i think. the point is...i miss my being naive...my being
innocent. my being the little girl.
feeling ko ngayon ang dungis dungis ko na. hindi ko siya sinisisi...sinisisi ko sarili ko kase tanga ako. ang tanga ko para magkagusto sa kanya. ang tanga ko at nagkakaganito ako nang dahil sa kanya. ayoko na. gusto ko lang ngayon mabalik yung dating ako. yung amoy baby powder. hindi yung may halong pabango mo. i feel like i wanna scrub everything off me, the feel of your lips on my skin..coz right now i feel like a piece of crap. fine i know it is my fault...so hell i suffer this feeling of being gross and dirty and... *tries hard not to cry*
we don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing. ~ sabi ni stellar..
wala lang. :)
hello...wala lang. i'm here in gokongwei lobby...hanging with ross and amiel...naks ako ba toh?!?! ST people around me? di kaya ko mabaliw? actually ako yung pinakawell rounded sa different specializations...tamo...i hang out with rika, jason, pearl, etc (ist), ross, myk and amiel (st), ajong (ne..yeah close kme nun!)..cnu pa ba..shempre sila andrea at tutay...:) it people..la lng. stg no? ako ang dakilang pakalat kalat...er...mali...c myk pla yun. *big big grin*
ayun. tapos na class ko...tambay lang ng onti..shiyet i want this week to end na..may deot exam kase sa maccoms sa wednesday. fack. la lng. tapos mamaya paguwi i'm gonna do my maccoms assignment (hardcore na toh!! kelangan ko na intindihin yun..swear!! haha)
wah nawala yung sasabihin ko lintek c amiel kase kalibugan mga pinagsasasabi...haha shiyet. ganun b tlga pg st...programming = sex?!?! gawd..kng nakikita to ni myk malamang sasagutin nya yan haha! lupit...
mommy!!!! nababaliw na ko!!! haha joke..miss ko na c pearl..la lng..ang cute nya today with the pigtails..hehe la lng..miss ko na pumorma na nakapigtails..la lng...oo i'm ranting again..hay.
miss ko na sha. shiyet. i just saw him kanina and...er...i miss him. i miss kissing him. wah!! haha ano ba yan!! :) la lng..ganun ko sha kamiss...hehe..hay. pagibig nga naman. leche. haha ano ba to. amiel kase eh!! haha..ayun.
stg nung music collection ni myk. sarap dekwatin. i'm beginning to like this laptop..wahahah pag nawala to alam na nya kng cnu kumuha!! wah!! joke joke joke...ayan tama na i'm ranting nonsense na..wehehe...SA MGA DI PA NAGUUPDATE NG BLOG MAGUPDATE NA!! :) hehe... la lng...o tama na mga sineshare ko dito mga kalibugan nah!! waahahahahahaa!!! la lng. ingat people...kudos! :)
weirdness
well to start off i'm starting my recursion mp. yeah weird me. well all i can say is that fuck that jerk who i met online who claims to be falling for me. gawd. someone knock some sense into his brain please? we don't know wach other and he claims to like me in you know what way? i'm like...er...he sounds so childish i swear..and he's 24 years old! gawd! then he says
swerte talaga nung guy na mahal mo...i'm like..yeah! of course..i know i'm mean but hey...he's really annoying. i pity him a bit..he keeps on ranting about his exes not loving him at all ro something...gawd.
/*deleted a part of this entry 08.02.2004*/
there. i placed the guy in my ignore list. gawd. he's so annoying. really. anyways, there. i'm really getting sleepy now...so i guess i better go. good night y'all...
i hate sundays
song that's on my mind :: desperately by michelle branch
yeah it's a boring sunday morning and i'm dreading this afternoon coz i'll be doing church service and i've gotta talk to that dude there coz i'm way behind my schedule. dang. dammit. i'm so mean but i really don't like the kids there. i mean, they're teaching God stuff and it seems to like not penetrate their heads at all. i mean, really. they're having Christian education for free (at least as far as i know) and what the hell...they think it's a joke. all they do is scout for student assistants who are gullible enough to give them money!! it's soo annoying!! really...i know they're sorta deprived and all but hey. they gotta make the best out of it...it's still education if you think of it. gawd. i'm just so annoyed.
another thing...it's sunday. i hate sundays. sundays are days when i wake up to the sound of the carpenter drilling stuff on the wall or pounding something somewhere in the house. and yeah, did i mention that it's new and there's nothing wrong with it? but no, they had to like put windows and curtains and what not everywhere. gawd! i feel like i'm in a cage in here. shiyet.
hm. wow. i can't believe i just wrote two paragraphs worth of nonsense on a sunday morning. la lng. anyways, this week is gonna be hell once again...finals are nearing and wah!! prjects are dropping in like rain..naks ano ba yun haha! la lng...hm. guess what i found maldita's blog (pearl and andrea would know who i'm talking about) and what da fawk it's pink! like the layout my borrowed heaven had before!! i'm like...damn...good thing i changed it! well this is still pink but hey. it's avril. it's cute. it rawks. it doesn't look so blogspotty. :) what the hell. :))
i called up jane yesterday before in fell fast asleep on my bed (wahaha!!) and it turnes out we won't be seeing each other for another month!! dammet! her prelims are this month and so are my finals so it's all hectic. no time to meet up. shiyet. that sucks. sucks!! hm. there was a tentative plan for me to go over at her house for a dinner birthday celebration on friday the thirteenth of august which reminds me is the er..anmath quiz. damned differentiation as a rate of change. but hell man i am gonna pass anmath whether they like it or not. i'm no longer aiming for a 2.5 coz it's way outta my league. a 1.0 would be terribly fine by me. but i still wish i could get something higher. anyways...gawd the hecticness of this upcoming week is gonna kill meeeh!! i really like my phone (haha yabang 3660) there's this to-do list thing in there where i could keep track of the deadlines and stuff. shiyet. manacon business case also on wednesday. fawk man. wednesday is gonna be hell day. yamot. then there's the files and recursion mp thingy...what da fack...ok ok don't panic. lemme straighten this out. later when i come back from the church thing i'm gonna do manacon first then maccoms then...er...mp? yeah i'm gonna do the recursion thing first. then the files. errr....damnation. read chapter six for maccoms dep exam. gawd ok..i'm not gonna panic. :) smile..sabay saksak ng teacher. nah i'm just kidding. anyways, inaantok nanaman ako. yeah that's what i hate on sundays. it's the antok factor that just makes you wanna lie in bed all day and sleep! damn...
wow. i've been ranting for four paragraphs now. astig. wahaha ross couldn't find a way to beat myk's 39 comments...wala lang i just find it amusing...39?! what the fuck..haha! oh yeah and to that myk poser..if he really is a myk poser...er i wish you didn't do that. it sucks. if it was myk however, haha nice joke it ain't funny!! :s hm. there there...i can smell tuna from my room...someone's cooking up something. you know it's funny that sundays are quieter but noisier at the same time. quieter in the sense that people could rest and you wouldn't hear the weekday rush but noisier in the sense that everyone is home and the conversations never end...wala lang observation lang. *yes scattered thoughts. sorry.*
i woke up today without the i miss you so much feeling anymore...maybe i got traumatized with the dream i had yesterday. damn dream. so much for bad dreams, no, rika? :) haha don't remind her she's gonna cry...nah kidding. funny though...i really found that funny..but if i had that dream i'd probably be terrified. :) anyways for the nth time...wah i wanna watch hoobastank..dammet. :) i need to watch that concert. terribly need to watch it. :)
tomorrow i'm gonna reserve some tickets. promise na to. sana meron pa di ba. :) wahaha!! la lng. i lurve hoobastank!!! la lng. ayan na wala na ko masabi kaya cge na. laters!! :)
