~ pink sunshine. *

hindi na maibabalik

[:music:] silence..
[:mood :] random shit


okay inaamin ko hinahanap ko parin siya. naiinis parin ako...minsan kapag nakikita ko siya at di kami nagpapansinan. nakakatuwa. nakakatawa. ano ba yan. tama ba naman itong nangyayare? oo masaya ako na maayos na buhay ko. pero ang punto ay namimiss ko yung dating bonding...dating kulitan at dating lambingan. masaya e...kahit magkaibigan lang. sobrang saya. ewan ko ba kung bakit kailangan mawala yun. ewan ko kung bakit nagiba nalang siya makalipas yung summer. nagiba siya. nagiba trato niya sakin. nawala lahat nung saya. pumalit yung galit, selos, poot, at lahat lahat na ng kaguluhan. tapos..nawala. nawala na ang paguusap, nawala na ang pagkakaibigan, nawala na yung pagmamalasakit. nawala lahat. ang lungkot no? malungkot na masakit...na di ko man lang napaglaban o naayos yung pagkakaibigan namin. malungkot na kailangan ganito para umayos buhay ko.

kung bakit kinailangan namin saktan ang isa't isa...

:(

nalulungkot ako. kahit ok ako na wala siya. nalulungkot parin ako...dahil noon ginusto ko maging kaibigan niya, ginusto ko maging super close kami. ginusto ko siyang maintindihan. ang ganda kase nung pakiramdam na ganun e. pero wala. nagkasala ako. nagkasala siya. at nawala lahat. sayang. sayang ang pagkakaibigan. pero hindi ko maisalba dahil hindi pa nawawala yung sakit na dinulot ng lahat nun sakin. wala akong magawa dahil manhid na ko sa sobrang sakit.

kaya ngayon..eto nalang. eto na ang kinatatayuan ko ngayon. buhay pa ko. at kakayanin ko yung lungkot na wala ka...yung lungkot na may nawala sa akin. sayang no? wala na ko magagawa. nandito na ko. hindi na maibabalik ang nakaraan. hindi na maibabalik yung dati.

posted by ~* sowelu @ 9:41 PM 0 comments

random nothingness

it's three am on a monday. in a couple of days i'm gonna be going back to gokonghell and see the tired sleepless eyes of those who wander around its halls. dang...and i said i'm gonna leave this behind?

i was pretty certain that i was gonna transfer schools until i took a peek on the sample tuition fees of the other school *no not theotherschooltenmilesawayfromhere ya moron* and saw that it was around ten thousand bucks greater than the tuition fee in my current school. now why am i talking about it? nothing. i had nothing to talk about.

for i writer whose work got published on a cheesy *sorry* high school lit folio i must suck. i haven't written a decent poem in months *yes months, not years*. what the heck is happening to me anyways? maybe it's the christmas season without the christmas spirit. plus all the pressure i got last term. sucks.

i have a headache now. i need to sleep. but when i lay down on my bed i can't go to sleep. there terribly must be something wrong with me.

lust.

something that's been playing in my mind for a couple of months now. nah don't worry i'm not getting laid anytime soon. :p

passion.

i'm looking for my passion. aside from a bunch of other things i'm looking for..

compassion.

does anyone honestly have compassion nowadays?

regret.

no time for that now.i still stand by my word that i'm gonna change for the better.

hope.

one thing i need more of. and sunshine. :p

God.

He's there. watching. waiting. like i am. i'm still counting on what you said, dude.

*rubs her eyes*

Gebo, Sowelu, Laguz.

i need to sleep.

posted by ~* sowelu @ 3:02 AM 0 comments